I’m having a pity party, come on in

The magic number is  two, one, two

That is what is posted as the amount we would will win if when we hit 6 numbers on this weekend’s Florida Powerball.

Two hundred and twelve millions

Millions… there is A LOT of zeros in there – LOTS!

I’m dreaming a bit, I know, I know it’s a fantasy, but why in the hell not? Have you not read the secret? You need to PUT it OUT THERE, VISUALIZE IT, EMBRACE IT, LIVE IT and the UNIVERSE will give it BACK.  And we are so ready!

So, as I was passing the big billboard, on my way home from work last night, revealing those magic numbers for everyone to see, I replayed the classic “money/no object” game in my head. You know, the one where you ask: “If money were no object, what would I do?”

This is a fun game to play, and it’s even better when you realize that you wouldn’t change much about your plan or daily life.  Maybe attitude would be a better description?

Ok, yeah, I mean, there will be a change of plan of course; there will be lots of changes. But ultimately, the only think I could come up after asking this question was “relief”. Why relief? Well, because ultimately hitting the jackpot will give us the ability to lift this heavy thing we carry around all day long – the one that is crushing us a bit each day.

It’s no secret, right now we are struggling (and everyone else I gather) a bit in the financial front. Tom has just switched jobs, and while it pays more than the previous job, it’s a slow climb to making a bit more on every paycheck. And as for me, work has decided that I can do the job of 4 people, at the bargain price of one low-end employee.  So, yes, I have joined the ranks of over-worked employee, and HATING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

And I can hear you already, shouting – “you are so ungrateful there are SO MANY people without a job out there – count yourself lucky that you have a job at all.” And yes, it may be true, that I’m a bit unappreciative and selfish, but you know what? I do wake up giving thanks everyday that I have a job to go to, that Tom has a job to go to. But, this is our reality. This is our issues, and it may surprise some of you, that I may feel lucky while at the same time feeling I’m drowning as well.

But, it’s there, that feeling and it won’t go away.. and dude, this is my pity party – come on in, have a seat and if you don’t like it, there is the door.

It sucks, and its taking a toll on us. We are by no means people who spend huge amounts of money on wimps and things. But, we both would love to ride in that feeling of “relief” that comes from knowing that bills will be paid on time, without doing complicating math order to juggle that bank account balance. That we can take a  vacation to get-away and not think about spending that extra buck in that over-price drink with the umbrella on top. Or the fact that we can live in the house we want without any compromising. That we can give back and help others less lucky than us.  That we can guarantee our children’s future.  That we can work on what we love and not for a paycheck.

Yes, “Relief”, that is what those magic numbers will bring to us.

So, I’m putting it out there, practicing visualization, knowing that we hold that ticket that will give us our relief…

…and the ability to afford the over-price drinks with the umbrella on top.