I’m usually good with remembering important dates

Apparently I’m loosing my touch…

Today is Tom’s 40th birthday.

And I totally FORGOT ABOUT IT! (Warning to reader, there will be lots of caps on this post)

Between the move, the house, and everything else that’s running around (without breaks) inside my brain, I TOTALLY FORGOT TOM’S BIRTHDAY.  And not just any birthday, but THE BIG ONE!!!

You know how I remember it? My iPhone sent me a reminder this morning. Let me repeat that for those in back of the room… MY IPHONE REMINDED ME THIS MORNING!

Bad, Bad, Bad…

The worse part of all of this is that, before THE MOVE, the new house, and everything else, I was really working this up. I was checking out travel sites, and out of the way nooks that I could zip him away for a BIG birthday weekend (like I did last year, and needed to top this year). Because, you know, it would be the BIG ONE! (Sorry, have I said that ALREADY?)

:::Sigh::

If it all had worked out, we will be on a plane today, en route to an International romantic location on the beach, just us, ready to drink sweet drinks with colorful umbrellas and lay on the hot Caribbean sun making sure we work those tan lines.

Instead, I’m at work, wondering how in the hell am I going to make up for this HUGE oversight. And, Internet,  I’m clueless! Totally and mentally void of any ideas. I cannot even come up with a good restaurant idea to take him! And trust me, after the total crazy I been dishing out for the past 3 weeks, he totally deserved the pampering.

This morning, after the reminder from the iPhone, I walked up to this sleepy man, sitting on our bed and sat on his lap and simply told him “Happy Birthday”. Just like that, no over-the-top hop-la, no hidden presents, not even a sappy card. Because, how do I begin to tell this man, what he means to me?

I could attempt to write something, about the relationship we have, the relationship I’m so damn proud of I want to list it on a top ten list and shout it out to the world. This man, who has been in my life for such a short time, but has made such a huge impact. He is my home, my friend, my love. He is full of loyalty and kindness and generosity and good times and great friends. Never judgmental, never opinionated, never pretentious. He is laughs and gestures and moments that astonish me with their simplicity and their magnitude.

He is at his best in spotted jeans and t-shirts full of holes, dirty hands and rolling on the floor with the dogs. He is stubborn, and forgetful and proud. He is a musician, a painter, a dreamer, a softy inside. He is my grand prize, my accomplishment, my voice of reason.  He is loved by his son, brother, mother and me.

And today he is another year older.

And today, I will offer a simple “Happy Birthday” and a promise that many more will come.

Hopefully with passports, and fruity drinks, and hot sand between our toes

He does math on his head…so he wins

This coming tuesday, Tom and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary.  HOLY.SHIT.WE.MADE.IT.TO.THE.ONE.YEAR.MARK and there was no killing involved.

We are proud, so very proud.

I still look at the calendar and shake my head in wonderment, because if you been reading this blog for a bit, you know that I was in dating hell for quite a bit there,  and had pretty much given up and was content to know that I may die alone and with at least 4 cats around me.

Drastic I.KNOW.THE DRAMA!

And today I got this meme on my facebook account and I thought it would be fun to test myself to see if I been paying attention the last 12 months.  Plus, this is the first time its a meme for couples as to oppose to me alone, and well you all know plenty about me.. so lets share SOME MORE!

What are your middle names?
Mine is Ana, his is Allan… which sound super official when I scream at him “THOMAS ALLAN”… he knows I mean business then

How long have you been together?
12 months (as of Tuesday) 7 of those living together

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We did not know each other, unless you count 1 week of emailing back and forth before we actually meet

Who asked whom out?
He sent the date email out

How old are each of you?
I’m 40 he is 39… but by only 6 months, he is soon to catch up with me and become just as old.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
I have a younger sister, he has 1 sister and 3 brothers… since they all live away from town, I guess we can place my sister in the category of most visited, except that my sister is a hard ass and right now we are not in speaking terms, meaning that we pretty much don’t see them as much.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
So far we don’t have one, unless you count the fact that my family has not accepted Tom with open arms, creating a bit of unbalance between us.  While I still see my family in a regular basis, we (Tom and I) have opted to not involved him, since all hell breaks loose.  We have come to terms with it and are hopeful that with time he can be brought into the fold and be accepted without my mothers brain exploding all over the place.

Did you go to the same school?
No, I was living fast and full life in Miami during my college years, he was traveling in the navy.

Are you from the same home town?
Negative on that one as well.  He is good old Italian-American.. I’m a Italian-Latina

Who is smarter?
I’m still amaze the type of information that comes out of that scatter brain of his.  He is a walking factoid.  Which to be honest annoys me to no end sometimes.  But, he can do math on his head.. so he wins.

Who is the most sensitive?
Hard to believe, but I think he is.  While I do have my moments I know that I’m much harsher than him

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We have this sushi place called Origami, where we just love to go to.  Its small, everyone knows our name, and our favorite menu item, we love that place.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Orlando, but we have North Carolina up for grabs in April.. and hopefully if all works out I will be taking that boy out of the country this coming June.

Who has the craziest exes?
ah.. she is not that crazy… but close -

Who has the worst temper?
I think we both do.  We both have Italian genes in us, lots of hand gesturing and shouting.  Thankfully we are both good communicators as well, so unless the worlds collide one of us usually is more calm than the other and we talk it down.

Who does the cooking?
I do about 90% of the time, or else the kitchen will be one single mess of pots, pans and dirty countertops

Who is the neat-freak?
I am… he is just messy and this drives me up.the.wall

Who is more stubborn?
I’m going to have to say both of us are on equal footing on this one.

Who hogs the bed?
Its got to be me… I lived alone for a long time and sharing the bed is one of those things that have not come easily to me.  Plus, he comes to bed after me at night, so I tend to be splatter all over it, he usually has to move me over to my “side” every night.

Who wakes up earlier?
We both do, we need to get to work at the same time.  But, I tend to be the first one up

Where was your first date?
Cliche… but Starbucks

Who is more jealous?
Neither of us.

How long did it take to get serious?
I think that by our 5th date we both knew pretty much that we were in it for the long haul

Who eats more?
Since I had gastric by-pass surgery 6 years ago, he will need to take credit for this one.  I still eat like a bird.  Unless its cake, I still eat more than I have to and still get sick doing it – all for the love of Cake.

Who does the laundry?
I do the laundry, he folds

Who’s better with the computer?
That will be me.   He knows how to use it, but, its not an extension of him. Like it is for me.  He can spend days without looking as his email account.  I now!

Who drives when you are together?
He drives.  Having lived in Miami for well over 18 years and done my share of traffic, I hate driving.  Any chance I get to hand over the keys to the car to someone else makes me extremly happy.  I just need to get use to the fact that he is NOT as aggressive driver as me, so I need to sit and relax when he at the wheel.

Halfway Point

Next month Tom (the BF) and I hit the 6-month halfway point of our relationship. Can I just say something: SIX MONTHS have gone BY ALREADY?

Either, I have been way to busy to notice or having way to much fun to keep track.

With the halfway point comes lots of headway, as in WE HAVE NOT KILLED each other yet – good times! It also marks the points were we have fallen into a comfortable daily routines and observations about how to NOT KILL EACH OTHER.

He wakes up first in the morning. Ok, ok… I do have to nudge him about a gazillion times, after snoozing the alarm button a trillion times more. (Yeah, we are NOT morning people, I think I love him more for it)

He brings me a glass of water every night when I’m getting ready for bed, the way I like it, filled with lots of ice, all crushed, because he knows I like to chew on it while I read in bed.

He puts up with my reality TV shows and my obsession with Law & Order CI marathons. He knows (and accepts) that I cannot stand to watch his cartoons network fascination and late night TV more than 10 minutes into them.

He automatically got the take-out-the-trash duties, and also the folding of laundry. He knows I’m good for the cleaning of the bathroom and all major cooking duties.

He does know how to cook… as in the “lets fired up the grill and COOK!” The outside grill is getting major usage the last couple of months.

We have couple friends now! We have weekend plans!

He calls to find out if I need anything before coming to the house – can you say how awesome this is?? The fact that if I forget to pick up milk, ice, cake on the way to work, I know he will do it for me in a heartbeat.

We get each others jokes and totally sarcastic come backs.

He loves dogs. I have inherited 2 of his: Rufus, the Bull Mastiff, and Maggie, the rut. I love cats. He has inherited my 4 cats. Yes, can you picture the zoo? The animals still have not met each other yet; can you picture what is coming?

He takes my girly-girly, prissy attitude in stride and I take his caveman attitude under advisement.

He understands my loss of hearing, I totally get his ADD.

He needs to draw pictures, play the guitar/drums at least once a day. He knows that I need to have him do this (specially the music) in another part of the house.

The nonsexual physical affection – hugging, kissing, holding hands – totally ROCKS. (The other part, yeah, that rocks too.)

He is a great father. His son is just as great.

He forgets most of the time. He knows I make list, and knows to follow them.

We both pay attention and the little things? They count.

He loves me as I am… I love him just as much.

Going Steady

Artist:   So, I told them, my girlfriend made them…

Me:       Your girlfriend? Who is your girlfriend?

Artist:   ah, well…you are… I consider you my girlfriend

Me:       Wait, are you asking me to go steady?

Artist:   Well, aren’t we?

Me:        Can I have your jacket?

Artist:    You are a barrel of laugh aren’t you monkey?

Me:         How Cute! I just been asked to be a girlfriend, Cool beans

Artist:     Hey! Quit, or I may have to rethink the girlfriend part.

Me:          Like IF!

Compromising

I been living for a while on my own, as in not sharing my house and/or space with the opposite sex. The last time I actually lived with someone that I had to cook for was about 4 years ago.

Time sure flies when you are having fun.. eh?

Anyways, after working 14 hours straight, with no end in sight for my to do list, which by the way, I’m totally convince it was an octopus in another lifetime, and its coming back to hunt me down. I mean I keep marking things off and the list keeps growing straight back up – see like an Octopus… I hate that list.

So, where was I?

Oh yeah…. so, as I was driving home, my mind started to think how it sucked (the big one) to be coming home to an empty house. Nobody to greet you, or to ask you how the day went, or to tell you how their day went, or to have dinner ready. IT.SUCKED. The only thing that was waiting for me? The 4 cats, and only because they cannot open the can of food themselves, if not, trust me, not even they will be there by the door.

So, while I’m having my pity party in the car, I started to think, of the kind of man that will put up with my shit. Because people, I may be easy going, but living with me, well… lets just say, that there will be some major a bit of compromising.

Case in point:

I love to cook, but I hate to do it all the time, I can pretty much live on cheese, crackers, cereal and nutella. Having a menu everyday?.. yeah, well its not happening, unless of course its called a “take out” menu.

I tend to leave my shoes, uh..*cough* ahh, everywhere (mostly the living room and the entrance, by the front door) Don’t ask, I have not a clue why I have acquired this habit, except to maybe get back at my nanna for making me pick up after myself when I was six. (thats my story and I’m sticking to it)

I tend to want to vent, when I get home… talk about the bosses, and the stupid people that I encounter at work everyday, and the stupid person that cut me off on the road, just vent, vent and vent… I don’t want it to get it fix, I just want to put it OUT THERE. Who ever ends up with me, need to take a quick class from my cats, they have this down pat, they hear me rattle on and on… they stare, and give me the “GET OVER IT” look and walk away to lick themselves.

I love to take long showers, because I like to feel the water beat down on me. (not to say that I’m don’t know how to take fast showers, I’m the queen of fast showers) but for the most part, I like my long, no hurry shower. Yes, I’m wasting water, yes, my skin will turn into a prune, and I.DONT.CARE.

I hate to do the laundry, and will find every opportunity to get myself out of doing that chore. I will promise to clean the bathroom for all eternity as long as I don’t have to do laundry. And this internet can point out how wack I am, since I’m technacally NOT washing the clothes, the washer is doing the job, and the dryer the other part of the job… but the folding? For the love of god, I TRADE you the BATHROOM chore!

Even if I’m dropping dead of sleep, I cannot just got.to.bed, no… I have to pick up something (a book, a magazine, a catalog anything with PRINT on it) and read it. I may fall sleep in 0 to 90 seconds after I picked it up, but that is not the point, I need to do it. There is confort in the words.

I hate mornings.. as in DO I REALLY HAVE TO WAKE UP? I will snooze the alarm a trillion times before I actually drag myself out of bed, and when I do, I’m still sleep. So if you need to tell me anything important, you may want to wait until after 11am, when I’m actually coming around from sleeping.

And talking about sleep, I need to have a total of 4 pillows around me at all times during the night. So you better bring your own. This goes for the bed cover as well, I will fight you to the death for the duvet, and trust me I will win.

So you see internet, living with me? No picnic. And I know that once I find that perfect person, the one that will just fit right in, I will probably compromise on most of the above.

Or would I?