Puppy Love

I love dogs, in fact I come from a family that always had dogs, and they were always present while I was growing up. But when I venture out to live on my own, I choose to go pet-less.

Why?

Because being a responsible pet owner is knowing when your daily schedule will make it a bit tricky to care for the pet in the first place. I always been critical of my friends that have a pet at home, but stay late at work, or go out or drinks after work, not with a care in the world that poor “Fido” has been at home ALONE, for over eight hours! That, internet is mild abuse at its best.

Uh, don’t you need to go home and feed/take out/walk your pet?

No, they will be ok! They are use to it!

I wonder if the roles were reversed you would be saying the same thing while holding doing your business for the last 9-10 hours! No wonder we have so many pets that are not “emotional” sound and have “issues”.

That is why I have chosen to have cats as my companions. They have the temperament to be home alone, and pretty much take care of themselves. Plus you have the benefit of taking care of another breathing thing besides yourself and not feel guilty in the process.

But, I miss having a dog.

So when this past weekend I helped my sister out in her Barks in the Park event – Thank you all for your donations by the way, we raised over $350… I needed to really keep myself in check, specially when all these cuteness came to call:

But it did not stop there, then we have this come about and I almost gave in:

major case of puppy love.

Easter for dummies

The blogsphere is awesome.. specially when my peers are this funny… I wonder sometimes how in the hell I get work done during the day.

Jesus 2: Electric Boogaloo

Going Steady

Artist:   So, I told them, my girlfriend made them…

Me:       Your girlfriend? Who is your girlfriend?

Artist:   ah, well…you are… I consider you my girlfriend

Me:       Wait, are you asking me to go steady?

Artist:   Well, aren’t we?

Me:        Can I have your jacket?

Artist:    You are a barrel of laugh aren’t you monkey?

Me:         How Cute! I just been asked to be a girlfriend, Cool beans

Artist:     Hey! Quit, or I may have to rethink the girlfriend part.

Me:          Like IF!

I care for a man

I care for a man… one that kisses me until I’m breathless, that touches me with passion and makes me sigh with pleasure, one that sees me as no one else does, one that knows what makes my heart beat fast and my inside fill with happiness that I never thought I find.  My loneliness has gone on an extended vacation, with no return ticket on sight.  My life has exploded in bright colors that dazzled me and entice me to color outside the lines and break rules left and right.  I care for a man…who takes me as I am.

Be one with the road…

So, I just came back from a 2 day filled mini-vacation in the land down under… as in cubanland.The drive there? Not that interesting. Unfortunately, I live in Florida, were everything is flat and swamp like… nothing to see, its pretty much a very boring state to drive… we don’t even have a coast that we can boast about, like California, with those fantastic sea views of the Pacific ocean and its high drops that make your skin crawl. Nope sireee, the only thing that can make your skin crawl in florida is the Miami traffic.

Now, you may be screaming back at me “it’s a city; there is traffic in the city”. And while I may agree with you there, Miami is one of the few BIG metropolitan cities in the US that has no functioning public transportation… as in a “THANK GOD, I don’t have to drive” Metro system. We have a “metrorail” which is worth shit. Mickey Mouse has a better system in Disney than the city of Miami. Trust me.

So what do you get in this beautiful city? A city congested with way to many drivers out on the road to hell. And with a bad case of “don’t know how to drive syndrome”.  That folks makes for one bad combination.

So in order to help you, if you ever in the fair cubaland city down under, here are some important observations (which I have learned by trial and error) that will help you manage this cities crazy implied traffic customs:

Situation #1: You are the lead car making a left at a very busy intersection: You will move your car to the middle of the intersection when the light turns yellow. When the light turns red, you will wait for cars to continue crossing (they will) and then you’ll casually and slowly make your left turn. No less than two other cars behind you will follow.

Situation #2: Getting on the interstate. Our interstates are very dangerous places but entering them is easy. There are two distinct ways to merge into an interstate.

1) Slow and easy: You shall drive up the onramp at no more than 25MPH and hope someone lets you in. Drive to the end of the onramp, stop, and put your left turn signal on until someone stops traffic and lets you in. This is recommended if there is a lot of luggage and passengers in the car and you are on the cell phone.
2) Attack the interstate: Using this approach you shall drive on the onramp at no less than 75MPH. When the onramp ends, you will continue driving on the right shoulder until there is a free spot for you to merge. You can use this approach when your off ramp is one of the next 2-3 off ramps, where it does not make any sense to actually drive on a freeway lane – you’re just going to get off anyway. Use this when you’re the only one on the road late for an appointment, and you can take this time to also call on the cell phone.

Situation #3: Driving on the interstate: You shall always drive on the left-most lane of the freeway, unless you are exceeding the prevailing average traffic speed by at least 30MPH which frees you from that obligation and you are then allowed to weave around the lanes as you wish. If there is the slightest hint of rain, you will slow to 45MPH or less. Don’t mind the other faster drivers; they haven’t been acclimated to our custom of passing on the left at a high rate of speed. So as to not create an unsafe situation, you shall always keep a turn signal on, thereby notifying other drivers of your presence. To be more visible, the turn signal that remains on shall be the one opposite of where you will eventually move to; this keeps other drivers alert.

Situation #4: Getting off the interstate: It is your obligation to drive on the leftmost lane of the freeway (see sit. #2). Therefore, when your exit comes up, you shall wait until the last possible nano-second and cut across all lanes of traffic to make your exit. You shall refrain from signaling your intent. If you leave your left-turn signal on during this maneuver you will have perfected it like the best of the locals.

Situation #5: Driving on a green light: If you find yourself to be the first car in a two-lane road intersection on a red light, for safety’s sake you shall not go when the light turns green. You shall always wait until you are given a reminder via a friendly “honk” from one of the 10 cars behind you. Once you receive this friendly reminder, you shall proceed through the intersection slowly. Bonus: If you are turning left at that same intersection, when given the friendly reminder, you shall inch forward but do not leave your lane, THEN turn your left turn signal on and wait. Then proceed as Sit. #1.

Situation #6: Approaching an intersection with a traffic signal: For simplicity’s sake follow these guidelines: Green light – proceed through intersection as normal. Yellow light – proceed through intersection as normal. Red light – Floor the gas and proceed through intersection as normal; unless you are prevented from doing so by the idiot in front of you who decided to stop for the red light.

Situation #7: Dealing with pedestrians, motorcycles, scooters, bicycles and other road nuisances: Our fair city is composed of a variety of “motorists” (term used very loosely) which come from different countries where some of these road nuisances are treated as game. These same individuals often have a very limited grasp of the concepts of respect of life, English as a Second Language, individual rights, crime and punishment and the such. Therefore, since the customs vary wildly from country to country, and in the interest of uniformity, you will ignore any and all of these nuisances when you command the wheel of a motorized vehicle. Pretend they are not there as you drive – Bonus if you drive an SUV. If these people do not have enough sense to acquire and drive a motor vehicle, then they should be nowhere near a road.

Other assorted guidelines:

Highly recommended that you are driving the largest vehicle available. Bonus if you are the only one who’ll ever be in it. Double Bonus if it’s a large SUV with quadruple four-wheel-drive, with 22-inch wheels or larger.

Stop signs are suggestions, not actual law.

Yield signs are always meant for the other guy.

Most IMPORTANT: Multitasking while driving is a must. You will attempt to maximize your driving time by talking or texting on your cell phone. If you are of the persuasion and you have DVD screens in your car, those shall be on at all times (porn programming is optional) so you and your passengers can watch videos and drive.

Now go with my blessing and remember, be one with the road.. ahummmm

Break-away

Ok.. yeah, I been a bit lazy about posting, because, well.. ah… I been BUSY! Yeah, as in busy, busy.. like a busy bee.Yes, I totally just wrote that.

So why have been busy like a bee (yeah, I WROTE it AGAIN!)…

WORK… it continues to kick my ass. Projects after projects keep popping up, plus we are short staff and with no end in sight, and since our division is working way over budget, the odds are not very good in our favor (sort of like the Florida lotto odds) of us getting another whipping slave support person to help us out, which means more OT for me.  Which otherwise will be a good thing, except that all that working gives me zero time to spend all that OT mullah on, which is pissing me off, do you know how many shoes are OUT there screaming my name?

HELPING OTHERS… because apparently I don’t have enough “stuff” at work, I have to go and look for MORE WORK, that I don’t get paid for. So, I suddently have become very popular and been suckered in enlisted in numerous projects that other people are doing and apparently they need my suggestions, expertise, advice and able body.

NEW RELATIONSHIP… yeah, the “artist” is keeping me busy, REALLY busy, like a… AHA! We are doing the entire “first time things” that one does when you meet “that” someone new. And since we really dig each other, then we are pretty much spending ALL the time together, talking, eating (have you notice how much one eats at the beginning of a relationship?), discovery those weird kooky things about each other (He like to dip his French fries in his milkshake – and I like to tell him that is the YUCKIEST thing I have seen yet) that somehow makes it all endearing and cute and all hallmarksy (look mom I just made up a word!) I could go into more detail about how much is working out, but then I’m afraid that will jinx the whole thing, so I may keep him under wraps a bit longer (keeping you guys in suspend is what I live for!)

So having said this… all this stress can mean one thing and one thing only… I need a break-away NOW so we can add to the list…

TRAVEL… I’m off to the land down under (after many warnings from the BFF, that “I better get my ass down there or else”)… and not the Outback kind, but rather cubanland. Miami beckons and with it an opportunity of meeting up with long lost friends, eat good food, drink kick-in-your-ass mojitos and get the hair done (maintenance must be upheld at all times!), Of course the battle of the traffic will be ON full force and to make myself feel better I may use that OT mula and get my ass to shopping.

So I wish all of you a good weekend and hopefully upon my return I will let you all in the crazyness that I’m sure will witness down on south.

Life with cats

I have 2 cats… Cleo and Mocha.  When I moved to my house, I optain Tiger by default, he was the previous renter cat who somehow got left behind.  Then Caramelo came into the picture, by one day just showing up at my door step and staying.  So if you are wondering what is like to live with 4 cats?  All you have to do is click below:

There is an upside to these side effects

As I type, a yummy cocktail of codeine cough syrup and sweet tea is snaking its way into my belly – hopefully it will take over very soon. You see, I haven’t slept well in two nights and my doctor swears I don’t have the historic flu Worst Flu Season Ever flu, but he did agree that I definitely had a fever and a nasty cough. And my body is sore. And a killer headache. And the chills. And wheezing lungs. All of this earned me a shot and a super strong, and naturally disgusting, prescription.

Which doesn’t have much to with anything other than to say that I’m heavily medicated and lacking sleep, which is a dangerous combo. Indeed.

So, whats the up-side?  While I been feeling icky and totally out of my element in my most comfortable PJ’s (the ones that are so old they have holes in them, but I-just-cannot-bring-myself-to-toss-them-to-the-garbage kind) while fermenting a love-hate relationship with my box of Kleenex….another kind of a relationship has been crawling up my side…

This one involves an honest-to-goodness-man, the breathing kind.  Who makes me laugh until my insides hurt more than my sore chest and gives me back deep conversations and knows when to call my shit up and shucks it back at me for me to stand on attention.   Its a great feeling among these drug induce days…call it a second high if you will.  And like anyone else out there, a high is a high, but a high of the heart is the best side effect of them all.

When people surprise you by giving you their stupid side

I’m good with my instinct… sometimes too good, and while my “dark” tends to poke fun at the “hopefully” side of me, all the time, I have learn to swallow a chill pill, and move on.

But, then a moment comes along that you just don’t expect at all. From someone that you thought would never even have the capacity of throwing “the stupid” around and you get zap back into reality and it leaves a sour taste, the kind that no matter how many sweets you inhale its still stays bitter. And in the process kills any desire to make it right, because you realized that those kind of people don’t deserve second chances.

I hate those moments,

Notables

Wedding bells for Italian Girl.  It was romantic, fun and had a full bar, could we ask for anything more?

The continued deviation of weather here in Florida (hot, cold, hot, cold – it just cannot make up its mind) has zap me again, and I once more I find myself fighting it out with the cold gods.  And this cold has whoop my ass.  So most of my weekend was spent talking sweets nothing to the box of Kleenex and some heavy duty usage with over the counter cold medicine. 

There is a high on all of this… 

 

I seem to have acquired nursing favors from the “artist” in the form of delivered breakfasts, replenishing of Kleenex and lots of attention while I cough up a lung.