Date #40: didn’t your mama and papa teach you anything?

21 Sep

“Let’s Do it! Read the email of Artsy Guy – TGIF Fridays at 12:30 for lunch, here are the directions….”

And we are off!

Right after a meeting with the Food and Beverage Manager of the Marriot (I do work… it may not seem like it, but I work). I found myself reading the printed Google map and looking out the car window for the green and red canopy signature of TGIF Fridays. I got there 15 min early, so I sat and did my favorite thing, people watched! And boy, do these people do business, who knew? I mean I have not stepped on a TGIF Friday since my twenties, but the place was lunch rocking. You had mothers with their children, which I can only guess were play dates – since they must NOT get out of the house often, you could tell by the crazy look on their faces of: “Oh my god: I’m out, I’m out, let me make this last as long as I can”. You had the usual business lunch crowd – and one table seem to have a birthday thing going on (of course). I spotted a couple of grandmothers with what I assume were their gentleman callers – early bird special anyone? And of course, a table with a family that could not have looked more like tourist – the two children had the Mouse ears hats and you know where they came from! And last but not least, the typical dressed suits at the bar enjoying their lunch with the water down drinks. All in all, a pretty diverse clientele.

I was so engrossed on my people watch… That I missed Artsy Guy entrance! I looked up and there he was. Not bad looking, nice tan, nice blue eyes and great smile. So far so good. (or so I thought)

We were taken to a table, given the menus and left out to dry. We took a couple of min to look over the selections… And then the regular first date questions started: So, did you get lost looking for the restaurant? How was your day so far? And what do you do? And blah..blah…

Honestly, conversation was not very interesting, we sort of touched on what do you do for fun? How do you spend the weekends? I’m sorry to say, that he behaved well and even thought I had to really work for him to open up by 15 min in, I was getting comfortable and starting to do my deep analyzing (I do this when I’m hitting the “bored” meter)

Then….The waitress brought the food. I had ordered a soup and he a Cobb salad.

Now, I hate to be picky (but I’m going to) if there is anything… ANYTHING that turns me off anyone more than bad hygiene is their table manners… I mean, didn’t your mama and papa teach you anything? Arty Guy was a slob eater – OUCH! He was just a messy eater… he was holding the fork wrong; cutting the salad like it was on death row and needed to be killed before it was given a pardon. He was banging away making click, click noise with his fork against the plate (remember the nail against the blackboard noise? – oh yeah!) A couple of times the eggs flew right off the plate onto the table, where he promptly snap it with the fork and put it back on the plate… I mean it was just KILL, KILL, KILL. After this little display of un-Emily Post etiquette… I knew he was a goner.

Sorry, but this is a deal breaker in my book.

Note to all the guys out there: Please, for the love of god, learn to pick up your utensils and use them correctly, they are not weapons!

It took us another 20 min before I close the deal and spit the all knowing phrase: “Well, this was nice, but… I need to get back to work… blah..blah….”

5 min of walk me to my car, thank you, the required half ass hug and the mumbled “see you”. I was back in my office 15 min later.

And since my mama taught me right: I sent him an email thanking him again for lunch.

As of today, nothing on his front and hopefully he will stay well over six feet under too since this has a “DNR” written all over it.



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