Negotiations 101

15 Feb

MG and I have identified the problem we face. Negotiations were put in place, discussed, iron out, approved and we came to mutual agreement.

The big woozy here is that the problem is a make of break problem – it’s an ultimatum problem – and I usually a bit cautious of those – they usually come to bite you in the ass at a later time, regardless how careful you plot them. He is solid on his stand and would not budge at all on it. While this shows how ready he is to fight for his beliefs it also shows that when call to be flexible I will have to do some major strategizing to get him to bend a bit, which is not an impossible task but it does tend to become exasperating at times.

It also makes me a bit mad. I understand that when we look for our better half, we have a mental list in place and when a new prospect comes along, you start to check off the items on the list that they best fit into. MG had 80% of my list, mainly because he cannot meet my #1, which is something that I thought was a make or break issue until I was placed in the situation of enforcing it. Then I realized that I want to be with a person that has 80% of my list and be ok that the other 20% will never be fulfilled, I can live with that. Now that the roles are reversed it hurts a little that he cannot do the same. Sort of like an unbalance of sort. I hate to start with the I did this for you and you need to do this for me game… but, I’m feeling it and eventually that also comes back to bite you in the ass.

We are taking baby steps and while everything else has not changed, I know he has closed off his feelings from me a bit. I call it his protective shield. He does not want to get hurt by opening up and then having to exercise his demands (guys, at the core are stubborn and sometimes cannot and do not want to see the BIG picture at the end of their noses) and walk away and of course a broken heart will just not do. My take? I’m already in deep, so no matter what happens the outcome can be one or the other: we pass this bump and we live happily ever after… We do not pass this bump, it’s going to hurt like shit, and I will be back to square one – single and eating chocolate to make the pain go away.


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