"Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind … Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch."

28 Mar

Falling in love with someone can bring you the best happiness in the world, you feel like you are invincible, you wear that superpower around you and know that you can take on the world. You can take those everyday challenges that it throws at you more easily, because you know you love someone and that someone loves you back.

Or do they?

When you realized that that person does not love you back that perfect, rosy world crashes around you, everything you thought it was dissolves into a billion pieces and the feelings of resentment, hurt and betrayal take over your perfect world. Not so pretty.

I have fallen in love twice in my life. I mean, yes, I had crushes and I have “lust” before, but being in love with someone is not the same as loving someone. The first time my heart was broken, I was too young to understand and to accept with grace and maturity the “break-up” So I acted accordingly: I got a brand new boyfriend and basically parade him in front of my ex. Not so pretty, but it gave me great satisfaction. (Stop shaking your head, most of you probably are guilty of this immaturity behavior too.)

Even back then I wrote in journals and I have kept them in a box, which has travel all over the place with me. Last night I did a bit of soul searching and somehow ended opening this box and going thru my old journals … and realized that I have written different thoughts and sayings along the way every time I had a break up with someone… some I have made up, others I have read and put down because at that time in my life it was the most appropriate way I could express what I was feeling… Here are some of those insights/sayings that I have picked up along the way:

1985-1988: Falling in love part one (when I was green and did not know any better):

I love you no because of who you are, but for whom I am when I’m with you.

1988: Falling out of love part two (when I was green and did not know any better still):

Nobody deserves your tears, the one that does will not make you cry.

They will always be people who will hurt you, so what you need to do is still trust, just be more careful who you trust twice.

1993 – 1999: Falling in lust part one:

A true friend is one that takes you by the hand and touches your heart.

Just because someone does not love you like you want, does not mean they do not love you with all of their being.

You could be one person in the world, but for someone you are the world.

1993 – 1999: Falling out of lust part two:

Never stop smiling, even when you are sad, because you never know who will fall in love with your smile.

The worse way to miss someone is being next to them knowing they will never be yours.

Don’t spend time with someone that is not willing to spend time with you.

2004 – 2005: Waiting to fall in love (again) part one:

Maybe God wants you to meet a lot of wrong people before you meet the right person, so when you finally meet them you will appreciate them more.

Become a better person, and know who you are before you meet someone and wait for that person to know who you really are.

2005 – 2006: Falling in love part two:

Don’t try to hard, the best things happen when you least expect them.

I love you no because of who you are, but for whom I am when I’m with you

Love is foolish … but I still might try it sometime.

2006 – Present: Falling out of love part one:

Don’t cry because it ended, smile because it happen

Everything happens for a reason (and keep repeating this one over and over and over again until you actually believe it.)

Nobody deserves your tears, the one that does will not make you cry.

Don’t spend time with someone that is not willing to spend time with you.

They will always be people who will hurt you, so what you need to do is still trust, just be more careful who you trust twice.

2006 – Present: What have I learned from this relationship?

Love is about commitment on both sides to making things work when things are no longer new and easy. Love is about sharing similar goals and dreams, and it’s about wanting the person you adore to be happy, even if what makes him happy isn’t necessarily something that will make you happy. But love is something you can’t truly feel for another person until you feel it for yourself – for in the romantic equation, it’s not two halves that make a whole, but two wholes that gloriously comes together.

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2 Responses to “"Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind … Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch."”

  1. Ebi April 11, 2008 at 4:53 pm #

    lovely.. realy nice , i needed this

  2. SolShine7 July 21, 2008 at 7:44 am #

    Nicely said. Especially the last paragraph.

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