Summer resolution…

29 May

As we come into the summer, which in Florida we have been experiencing for the last 3 weeks or so…(and with temperature in the 90’s we pretty much been feeling it too) I realized that I’m tired of all the dating, and the emailing back and forth and the 30-min dates and the weaving thru the profiles and shit. Man, I take it back; I’m not tired I’m pretty much exhausted! Not only mentally, but physically as well.

Today I as splatter my tired self on the beach chair and soaked up the sun, I realized that I don’t want to do the dating circuit anymore. I don’t want to play the games, and wait for the calling and the “getting-to-know period” phased…because I’m fucking tired. I mean who ever told you that being single and having all of those options in front of you was fun and exciting was lying to your face.

Being single is work; it takes effort and A LOT of it. It drains you out and believe it or not, eventually it just plains defeats you. I mean there is so much you can talk about yourself and prep yourself to be alluring and mysterious and plain interesting. Interesting enough for the second and the third and the forth date. Plus, how many times you hear the “oh my god, you are funny, and so interesting and I want to get to know you more!”… then the phone does not ring, and the e-mails do not come… yeah, that my friends, as much as one puts it off, it chips at the armor, eventually there is so much rejection you can take.

I’m at that point… at the point that I don’t want to put it out there anymore. I don’t want to talk about myself one more time, I don’t want to sit and wait for the phone calls, and I don’t want to “try” anymore to be alluring and mysterious – for ANYONE.

So, as I felt the rays of the sun, and the tingling of my skin as it turned a toasty brown, I made a resolution to myself. This summer was going to be about me. Trying to come to peace, once more, about being by myself and feeling ok with it.

I deserved nothing less.

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