Breaking and Entering, the acrobat way.

2 Jun

This past week I sent my sister off to a cruise. Being this the case, I’m taking care of my sister’s funny farm, which consists of the dog, the 3 cats and the parrot. Not to mention the house. I been running around between my house and her house, her animals and mine animals (thank god that cats are so self reliable!). It’s been C.R.A.Z.Y.

While I dribble away at work during the day, she has a pet sitting-service that comes once a day to the house to let the dog out during the midday hour and then close up and go their merry way.

Last night I was running late coming out of work and it did not help that it was pouring rain outside, which meant that it was going to take me twice as long to get across town to get to her house (the Floridians have NOT A CLUE in how to drive with RAIN), take out the dog, feed the cats the dog and the bird, not to mention then run right back out to be on time for my support meeting and then go to my house to feed my farm and make time for a date. I was counting the seconds here.

I was already stressed out by the time I made a run to my car at my job’s parking lot and got a good soaking while I was at it. By the time I got to her house, I was running on a tight schedule…still raining cats and dogs… I ran to the door…put the key into the lock, turn it and … and…

NOTHING happen! I pushed the door and nothing… it would not budge! Oh NO-THEY-DID NOT! The pet-sitting service had locked the bottom lock of the door… thus locking me OUT of the house. As I sat there looking at the door and willing it to not be true… I thought: AHA! the backdoor… so, I ran out on the rain again (mind you I’m in full office clothes.. skirt, high heels…running like a wet cat out to the back yard which was already a pool of muck and swamped in puddles – not a PRETTY PICTURE PEOPLE). I ran up the deck…put the key and … YEP!

L.O.C.K.E.D AGAIN! Shit, Shit, Shit!!!!!

The dog is excited on the other side of the door, barking her head off, thinking “oh a game!!! Woof, woof!” The bird is screeching “Hello!, Hello!” I’m trying to cover myself from the falling rain and lighting under the non-existing roof, getting soaked by the minute and knew without a doubt that this door was in now-way, no-how shape and form going to budge an inch.

my sister SO owes me a new pair of shoes!

As I sat there going, “oh well… time for the locksmith…” I looked over and saw that the bathroom window was half way open… AHA! a light at the end of this tunnel! Ran over and realized that I needed to pop the screen…DONE! Then realized that it was going to be a tight squeezed… I scrambled up and threw my bag and the ruined shoes inside then hiked up my skirt and pushed myself up over the window… wiggle my way inside and gave my sister’s neighbors a wide open view of my pink Victoria Secret underwear not to mention my expose white butt and the not so pretty acrobat show…

As I spilled unto her bathroom floor… I took stock of the situation and began to laugh my head off; her cats sat there staring at the crazy human with her skirt around her waist, dirty feet, and probably thinking to themselves:

“These human need to be taken to the funny farm; I hope she finish this shit off and get to work putting out the food, we waited long enough”

I bet my expose ass they were laughing at me and still talking about it.


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