Your dimples drive me nuts. Your conversation? Not so much

26 Jul

I’m at a dilemma… for the past 4 days the new guy in the pipeline – Dimple Guy, has come into my life (virtually) and basically has swept me off my feel (virtually) with his witty humor, IM suaveness and not to mention his outrageous online flirting – which has been pretty R rated (which has keep me in a state of alertness that even I cannot understand). The man pretty much has turned me into putty.

Today we had our first date.

Remember that old wise saying, which we all tend to ignore more often than not, because deep down we are all saps. “If it’s too good to be true, it is”.

Oh… the wisdom of doom!

So the meeting place was Barnes & Nobles – pretty safe and they have the church of crack inside and books, you just cannot go wrong with that setting. I was literally a basket case for most of the day waiting for the clock to hit 5pm so I could take my ass down there and get to meet this man and see if our virtual chemistry was stuff that would go down in for the records books. (See how stocked I was on this date?)

What could go wrong?

Evidently, plenty…

At 5:30pm… I get the following text message on my cell: “Hello?”

I looked up and no Dimple guy in sight… I volley back with: “I’m at the café”

And looked up once more… when I suddenly caught him walking fast among the aisles… all fluster like…he looked funny doing that and I could not help myself and was cracking up as he sat in front of me.

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “Ok, he looks like his picture (points for him), shorted than expected, but he is doable, and god, there are those dimples! (More points for him)”

So the conversation (or lack of) started like this

DG: Hi
Me: Hi

First moment of uncomfortable silence… tick, tock, tick, tock…

Me: So, how was your day today (lame I know but I told you basket case!)
DG: Ok and yours
Me: Going into the today was a long day… yada, yada, yada (that filled out about 3-4 min of time here)…

Second moment of uncomfortable silence… tick, tock, tick, tock….

Me: So, what you think? (first desperation attempt was made)
DG: You look like your picture, but better.
Me: :::smile::: Well thank you, you do to, which let me tell you is a huge relief.
DG: yes I hear you.

Third moment of uncomfortable silence … tick, tock, tick, tock…

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “Ok, Monica, do something!!! We are dying here”

Me: So are you originally from here?
DG: No from (town name)
Me: So do you have brothers, sisters?
DG: One brother

Fourth moment of uncomfortable silence … tick, tock, tick, tock…

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “Ok, Ok.. think of something THINK!!!”

Me: So you like books? (Come on people! He was giving me NOTHING!)
DG: Yes
Me: What type?
DG: Medical thrillers and stuff like that
Me: You read Robin Cook?
DG: Yes

Fifth moment of uncomfortable silence … tick, tock, tick, tock…

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: Ok.. time to abort mission, this is BS… here goes nothing”

Me: HELP here, we are dying… I have nothing, I cannot think of nothing to ask you!
DG: [Laughing], I’m sure you can, you can ask me anything.
Me: Nope, sorry… This is very weird, I usually have tons and tons of questions, but you don’t seem to be contributing must either, which is making me uncomfortable.
DG: You should not be (duh???)
Me: Oh I am…
DG: Let’s walk among the books
Me: (jumping up so fast I almost knocked off the glass of tea I was drinking)… Ok, let’s go. UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “At least we are moving”

So we walk around… and we walk and silence moments everywhere… and he keep doing this little sound (which was driving me nuts)… sort of like a grunt and a sigh at the same time… then as we were between the Self-Improvement and reference section of the store… he turns around quickly and tells me:

“I’m sorry, I cannot help myself, I need to do this or I will wonder about it later and probably regret it if I don’t do it”

And then he grabbed me and he kissed me!

Oh yeah… he frigging K.I.S.S.E.D ME!

And what did I do?

K.I.S.S.E.D him right back!

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “Oh shit! Wow, he does know how to kiss. Oh, oh, trouble”

When we finally broke away we started to laugh… right there in the middle of the store…

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “Arighty then, now that we GOT that out of the way… this will get better”

Sixth moment of uncomfortable silence … tick, tock, tick, tock…

More walking… the fiction, history, cooking, religion…

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “The Hell this is NOT happening! It is NOT!”

And then… between Diet & Health and Business & Money… He did it again, dove in for another kiss… and I again kiss him back.

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “God damn! You are a hussy! But, oh, yummy, yummy”

As we broke apart he tells me

DG: yes, better than I imagine
Me: I’m like totally confuse about this, I normally DO NOT do this (UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: Actually the last time I behave like this I was like 23 and had consume a unspeakable amount of alcohol).
DG: I know, but you look so good and sexy and the shoes, oh my god, your legs look incredible in those shoes. I just cannot help myself, not to mention you are an amazing kisser.
Me: (Blushing) Thank you, your tie is nice (I know, I know – I GOT NOTHING!)

Seventh moment of uncomfortable silence … tick, tock, tick, tock…

More walking… the mystery & crime, humor, bargain books…

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “Ok time to abort this mission”

Me: Well, I have to go, got a kickball game that starts in an hour (second and last attent to save the little bit of this date!)
DG: Kickball eh? Nice
Me: Yes, every Tuesday
DG: Cool

He walked me to the car… and there was more hussy behavior on my part… then he told me, “Catch you online later”….

UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD: “You bet your ass, because it’s just not possible, I need to know what happen to the man that enjoys having a conversation – WHAT happen???”

…part 2 next (ohhh yeah there is more, much more)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: