Showing you my ass? Nah, Not a problem!

2 Aug

Unlike 88% of the population, I’m not afraid of needles or getting shots… I never was, even was I was younger. I mean, we went to the doctor, you needed to get a shot, and we got a shot. Maybe it was my mother’s face, telling us that under no uncertain term she was going to tolerate a screaming child in front of her… but nevertheless, shots were really no big deal.

I’m even good about giving other people their shots (I been told I have an easy hand) and I also give myself my own shots when needed – mostly every 3 months when I take my Depo shot. Again no big deal.

About 3 years ago I had surgery and part of the recuperation regimen was getting a B12 vitamin shot every month. No big deal.

Oh.. wrong…

Those B12 shots H.U.R.T. The composition of the vitamin is thick and when the liquid is being shot into you, you feel every bit of it! It plain.hurts.like.the.holy.mother!

And so instinct took over, I started to avoid at all cost getting the shot every month. Made excuses, the circle calendar date went overlooked, I told lies that I had already taken it. Which got me so far until my body would kick me right back and I would be dragging my sorry ass all over the place needing the damn shot. So, I started to look for someone that would give me the shot, I just could not bring myself to do it – no way, no how. Then my previous ex (not the last one, the one before “x”) gave me a tip… “Mo, warm up the B12, it will go into you hot, you are thinning it out and you will hardly feel it.” JACKPOT! But, I still could not get pass giving myself the actual shot… so I recruited this genius (previous ex) to do it for me and double JACKPOT – The monthly shot was back in business.

Until I broke up with the previous ex and lost my own personal nurse! Back to zero.

I recruited my mother, who is terrible giving shots, but I had no choice. For the last month I been in total 100% pure avoidance mode. Until today, I knew that I needed to do this. So, while having lunch with the “x”, Italian girl asked me if I had taken the damn thing and after telling me off, the “x”, offered (after I asked) to do this for me. Apparently, he has experience in this sort of thing (don’t ask, don’t tell)… so we quickly set up a date for this evening for me to drop my pants, showed him my partial ass and have him poke me – I figure that between the both of us, he was going to enjoy it more than me.

But, as I waited for him to show up, and was setting up the make-shift nurse station, I had a bit of a talk with myself.

Voices in my head: “Come on, you have done harder things than this!
Voices in my head: “You can do this, don’t be a big baby”
Voices in my head: “Wimp, pussy, get the stupid thing and give yourself the shot!”
Voices in my head: “You have been dating for the past 4 months, this is a piece of cake!”
Voices in my head: “Do you really want to show your ass to the “x”?”

That was the deal breaker…

So, while the voices in my head were cheering me on, I dropped my pants, closed my eyes (I’m surprise I found my ass in the first place!) and poked myself… and surprise, surprise… I was home free! I ended up dancing half-naked in the middle of the kitchen, giving myself all sorts of pats in the back.

Yes, Im.one.crazy.woman.

I guess when it really comes down to it, dropping my pants and showing my ass to my “x” was not an option.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: