Temptation

9 Mar

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from an old dating guy. He is actually the last guy I dated before I matched up with the BF.

Anyway,. The Nena Guy (what he will now be called) was this guy he was also called the Navy Guy, and eventually he became the New Guy for a while, we basically dated for about a month until I realized that regardless of our hot and heavy attraction in all levels (and I mean HOT!) he had one fault, he was not ready for a 100% commitment, he just had way to much stuff on his plate and at that time I wanted to be with someone that was fully committed to at least putting the time in dating me. I told to him as much and we went our merry ways. Since then we have keep in contact sporadically, a quick hello, how are you.. how is your life sort of things…nothing to write home about.

Or so I thought…..

Well Nena guy is back and in full force. He called me up and ask to meet me since he wanted to talk business. I own my own company and he wanted to see if we could create a working relationship. My curiosity was peeked! (as always. Note to self: run away from curiosity… its out to get you in trouble, the BAD KIND) So, since I don’t listen to my inner voice. I meet Nena Guy for dinner, to like talk business! And while he behaved, like the gentleman he is, and talked about the job and the price vs. the retainer fee and the time frame of the propose project, and other stuff, which I just cannot recall, we both could not denied those attraction sparks flying all over the place: up, down, over, under… ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE.

You can now realized, how screwed I am?

Now I have a dilemma. If you have read here, you may know that while BF and I are sort of “ok”.. deep down we are sort of “not”… I been trying to just let it go, the BF is a great guy, respectful, thoughfull, great marriage material, will be a great father and while this may turn the toes to any other female (I know I’m going to get the “you are such an ungrateful bitch in the comments for saying this), it does nothing for me. After 7 months of dating I have yet to say the “I love you’s” and last night I realized that I will never be able to utter those words to him. Not while I was sitting there contemplating how good Nena Guy looked and comparing him to the BF.

Yes, indeed very screwed am I…

The Fate faeries are fucking up with me once more. They are putting temptation on my path and not giving me instructions in how to avoid the incoming backslash. I’m so royally fucked.

THIS is NOT looking good, for neither of the player in this unfolding drama.

What is my next step? Easy… run the other way until I find the guts to come clean and hurt BF, because no matter what I say this is going to bite. But, before that I’m taking my ass down to a weekend get-away into the bowels of cubanland (aka: Miami) to clear my head and wonder how in the hell I get myself into these complicated dramas.

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