Being one again and feeling ok with it.

13 Mar

This past weekend I traveled down under into Cubanland (aka: Miami). While there, not only did I spend time with BFF and other friends from the past, I did some mayor hard, cold thinking about my existing relationship with BF. And came to the realization that while he is a great catch, and has everything a woman would want, my feelings were not there and at this point will never be. I was not in love with him and while I struggle to open myself to him, and go thru the motions, those feelings keep eluting me until I knew that it was time to cut deep and put this one behind us.

The BF was hurt (and I totally got it, since his feelings were front and center) and once I try to explain that he deserved someone that could return his feelings fully, he came to the same conclusion as me and once more showed his classy side of himself and accepted my decision. And while break-ups are hard and painful, I was lucky that this one turn out well (I have not been so lucky in the past). There is something to be said when two adults can have an open communication and common understanding. I may be jumping the gun and this can blow up in my face, since it has been only a day since we had the break-up and he can come back with some crazy behavior, but I going with my gut and know that the possibility of this happening are very remote.

For now, we are both licking our wounds and re-grouping. And once more I’m putting myself out there, and with it a bit wiser and more knowledgeable of what my wants and needs are. Because I going to get this right once and for all.

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