Power tools, electronic stud finders, and super duper wall anchors, mean nothing when you have a cat with superpowers.

22 Jun

This weekend we took a break from unpacking. Yes, we are STILL UNPACKING – don’t judge!

Tom decided he needed to finish a DYI project that he started last weekend and I decided that since I was working on a side job this weekend, I was going to vege-out and not open another cardboard box and put things away. I was going to take a fucking break.

On Sunday, I came back from my overnight job (no it’s NOT THAT) and needed to chill out, because I had not gotten much sleep the night before (NO IT’S STILL NOT THAT!). So, here I was chilling in the bedroom and reading, enjoying the wonder of not DOING ANYTHING AT ALL, and solving a murder in less than 500 pages.

Then I heard a noise… sort of like something shifting on the wall in front of me.

I looked up…Not sure that I had heard anything. Side note here: I suffer from profound hearing lost. While I use to wear hearing aids at one time, the lost has been so deep, that not even hearing aids help me out. So, most of the time, I really do not trust the noises that I hear – because every so often the noises that I DO HEAR are inside my head and not really happening.

But, this time I was not the only one hearing the noises, because I notice that the cat looked up as well… and I don’t need to tell you who has super hearing powers around the house, do I?

The noise stopped and I went back to reading.

The cat went back to licking herself.

Then I heard it again, this time a bit louder. Apparently so did super-ears.  Because, the cat looked up and then at me and then she concentrated on the front of the bed where our beautiful bright RED Wall shelf unit was located – which, held our beautiful NEW 42” LG Flat-panel TV, my Apple notebook, the iPhone and the cable DVR. (I know, it sounds like I’m bragging, but I needed you to know understand fully what was at stakes here). Tom and I had installed the unit about 2 weeks ago after much bitching and fighting over power tools and the right anchors and were in the hell were the stubs on the house. 

So where was I? Oh, yeah the noise, the cat looking up, and me not trusting the noises in the first place.

But, alas, the noises came again, and trust me, I have no idea what made me get up from the bed and get close to the wall unit, but something did. And as I got closer, the noise came again, a bit louder and this time I reached out and put my hands on the TV, and in a split second the whole unit came crashing down, drowning the cat’s terrified “MEOW” and Tom, screaming from down below “WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPEN UP THERE???”.

If you cannot picture it… let me help you a little in getting that mental image going:

After the smoked cleared, the beloved RED unit was on the floor, the DVR box landed (SAFE AND SOUND) inside the laundry basked (that was holding the freshly washed sheets) located below the unit.  The iPhone flew to the other side of the room and landed (SAFE AND SOUND) on the floor, next to the stunned cat (thank good for the plastic case that protects it!) The notebook, inside one of the unit’s cubby was miraculously intact. And the star of the show, ME! Was standing up, holding the most important household item – oh wait let me type it again and clarify – HOLDING THE 42” FLAT PANEL TV WITH MY BARED HANDS!

Tom ran up, and we put everything back on the floor and as I sat on the bed and hyperventilated.  He shouted “WHAT HAPPEN? HOW DID IT HAPPEN? HOLY SHIT WE ALMOST LOST THE TV!!!”

In which I responded: “Yep, so much for power tools, electronic stud finders, and super duper wall anchors, just let’s give thanks to the cat, for alerting us to the impending collapse, because I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.”

And to set the record straight, the cat is getting extra nibbles for the rest of her life.


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