Tequila shots, Pork Chops, Skinny dipping and hair – trust me, there is a connection in there.

15 Jul

I had originally decided to let my hair grow long again, mainly because I’m stupid and sometimes I need to relearn lessons that I have ALREADY taught myself over and over again.

After my last cut, I totally looked a old pictures and got all sentimental and shit and decided that I missed having the long hair… so I totally told myself that I needed to let it grow out. Also, I may be the only female in the face of the earth that  HATES (notice the caps) to go into a beauty salon.  So, of course,  avoidance = long “MESSY” hair.

Problem is that I have thick hair. And I mean THICK hair. My dag originally told me that my hair was the same texture of a horse tail (I know, who would compare their child hair to the butt of the horse? My father that’s who! Wonder why THAT relationship has NOT WORKED). Anyway, while having long locks on my head makes me look gorgeous (hey, I’m in need of heavy-duty self promotion here) it’s an uphill battle to maintain it nice and pretty. And this will not be a problem if I live, like, say Canada. But instead, I live in fucking Florida and a simple math equation can explain my predicament:

Hot weather + High Humidity + Long Hair = HELL!

Because, take that long thick “pretty” hair, all those elements above and now you are sweating like a pig about to be dragged to the slaughter house and made into pork chops.

Ohh… pork chops, with grilled onions and mash pote… Wait, where was I? Oh yes, pretty hair…

So in order to keep the pretty LONG, THICK hair, you opt for making pretty ponytails, or buns, or braids, and this results in that thick long hair weighting a TON, giving you splitting headaches that no amount of Aleve can help.  Not to mention, spending tons of money getting extra-strength “Drano” in order to unclog the bathtub drain every time you wash the long hair.

And, since you are stubborn and not a quitter, you keep this up until one day you are in front of the mirror getting ready for work. And after having put about 5 pounds of hairspray on the hair in the morning in order for it to look like a nice slick bun for work, you totally tell yourself – WHY?

Why, indeed.

And you take your Lunch hour and go down the salon and tell the nice hairstylist.

“CUT.IT.OFF”

And after 5 minutes you feel 10 pounds lighter, and the almost breeze down you neck and tell yourself, “I’m never going to let it grow out ever again”

But you also know that you said that about drinking tequila and skinny dipping and we all know that never works.

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One Response to “Tequila shots, Pork Chops, Skinny dipping and hair – trust me, there is a connection in there.”

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  1. Tequila shots, Pork Chops, Skinny dipping and hair – trust me, there is a connection in there. | Work from home India - July 15, 2009

    […] View original post here: Tequila shots, Pork Chops, Skinny dipping and hair – trust me, there is a connection in there. […]

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