House Watch duties down to a level 1

20 Oct

I’m sorry that I have not updated this since… oh well a LONG TIME. And you probably thinking, well you better have something GOOD for the past 2 weeks. And frankly with the exception of the “story” mentioned before this post, life has been seriously boring. Work, home life, and work, dude, I’m bored myself and its MY LIFE.

About the story.

At the beginning of October I took off to attend a work conference in the most happy annoying place in the world – Disney. On the third day of my trip, I received a phone call from Tom that went something like this:

Tom: Hey baby, how you doing?
Me: Good, totally over the Mickey Mouse thing, ready to come home
Tom: oh, yeah, well today I got home and found a surprise
Me: Shut up!, Did we win something??? Did we?
Tom: yeah, we did, 2 dead squirrels
Me: Oh, sorry, what did you say? Squirrels…as in those things that are in the backyard and carry acorns…Seriously?
Tom: Yep.
Me: Dude, get to the point, what are 2 dead squirrels doing INSIDE THE HOUSE?
Tom: Well..

And here is the story…

Apparently Tom got home and found the floor of our dinning room, the walls in the living room and the floor space between the Living room, Kitchen and back room full of black foot prints, big and small, as in tiny small, all over the place. As he followed them, he found this medium side black mount in the living room… after close inspection he realized it was a dead squirrel. (YUCK! That was my take, Tom’s, take was “WTF?”)

After further inspection he was able to piece together the chain of events (we totally would kick CSI butts, with our investigating process – CBS CALL ME!). It seem the squirrel(s), that’s a plural for you (he found a smaller one, dead in the back room) were inside the chimney (which is blocked off and sealed – not so good apparently, by a round cover in the dining room), somehow, they (the squirrels) pushed the cover off and spilled out into the dinning room.

This basically probably became the “oh-oh” moment for them, because once they did this, they probably encounter this pair face-to-face: 

Don't let those face you fool you, they are killers now

Don't let those face you fool you, they are killers now

Now we are sure that Rufus played a very small role here, unfortunately, he is a coward at heart and probably ran to hide during the commotion that was created by Maggie chasing the squirrels all around the house until catching them and killing them. Yep, we have a killer machine in our fold.  The poor “trespassing“ squirrel(s) had no chance in hell.

During this killer spree, a lot of  black sod from the chimney was carefully pasted all over the house: walls, carpet, furniture, and all over the dogs. According to Tom, Maggie was totally full of black sod from head to tail – which further incriminates her in this saga.

My response to this narrative tale? I’m SO GLAD THAT I’m IN ORLANDO AND NOT AT HOME! Because it saved me from
a) the heart attack of coming home to dead squirrels and footprints all OVER THE PLACE and b) the clean up of dead things.

Poor Tom.

We have since fixed the chimney opening, and Maggie apparently has lowered her “killer watch” to a manageable pricking of ears when there is an outside noise – which we are calling  “Level 1”.  We have replaced the carpet and clean up the footprints off the walls. And I’m sure that the word is out that we have a killer dog in the mist and squirrels are the main target. So, squirrels beware!

Of course, would I have been there and found the massacre, I would totally be showing you pictures of the crime scene, with gore and all.

Because these types of events are what makes great blog post.


3 Responses to “House Watch duties down to a level 1”

  1. Mo October 21, 2009 at 12:56 pm #

    You spent 3 days in Disney and the most exiting thing that happened, was at your house back in Tampa ?!?!?!? ! ! What kind of conference was this?


  2. Monica October 21, 2009 at 3:12 pm #

    I KNOWW!!! The irony right?


  1. To win the war, you must strong, steadfast and finally cut off the balls « MACA's WORLD - February 9, 2010

    […] To win the war, you must strong, steadfast and finally cut off the balls February 9, 2010 eusmaca Leave a comment Go to comments For those joining in the fun around these parts late in the game, I live with the boyfriend (Tom) and his two dogs (Maggie and the dumb dog Rufus). I wrote about them before here and here. […]

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