To win the war, you must be strong, steadfast and finally cut off the balls

For those joining in the fun around these parts late in the game, I live with the boyfriend (Tom) and his two dogs (Maggie and the dumb dog Rufus). I wrote about them before here and here. 

Go on, take a look, so you can be all caught up…I will wait. 

Ok, back? Good, lets move along. 

Anyhow, the dumb dog Rufus is almost 4 years old. His owner, being the man he is, decided that Rufus should be one big male dog. With his parts intact and all. Because the family jewels would eventually be put to use to sire a bunch of cute puppies that hopefully did not have the pee brain of their father. 

For those a bit lost in the analogy above, let me clarify: the dog still has his balls. 

And this will not be a problem if we live in something like this: 

God, I'm not a dog, but I will kill for this to be my backyard.

 

But we don’t, we live in the city, in a house that is 1,650 square feet, with a backyard, that for city standards is pretty big, but nothing compare to rolling green pastures that Rufus needs. 

The big dog likes it – most of the time. He roams, he barks, he sniffs and makes sure that every-single leave, tree, grass patch, twig is marked. And marked good. 

Because he is a dog – a MALE dog and that is what they do, when they have balls. 

And I’m good with this. 

Except that a bitch has come to the neighborhood and thus disrupted the dumb dog Rufus world.  Making him stand by the window to whimper and cry and howl, just like a typical male wanting to hump have something he can not have. 

But, what Rufus has found is the need to not only double mark everything OUTSIDE the house, but INSIDE as well. 

The targets of war, my friends in no particular order: 

The sofa in the living room
The living room rug
The pillows on top of the living room sofa
The kitchen loveseat
The kitchen rug
The kitchen pillows on top of the loveseat 

Yes, we are talking full frontal war. And we have sent in the following troops to hold the front lines: 

Bleach
Vinegar
Oxy clean
Wet Vac
Patience
Tom
Lots of time
Washer & Dryer
And a lot of curse words not worthy of being told here, lest children are in the vicinity. 

Unfortunately, after much fighting we could not save all targets and have some casualties: 

The living room rug
The kitchen rug 

RIP guys! 

They did not make it. And I’m really, really pissed about it. 

So pissed that I told Tom that male jewels were full of crap and that before I raised the white flag I will send in the greatest troop for a sure victory. 

The dumb dog Rufus has an appointment on Monday to have his family jewels promptly cut off. 

White flag, my ass.  Not even this pretty face will make me divert from the set course: 

stand watch buddy, not for long!

 

Don’t know what is going on, but something IS and I’m totally LOST.

Let’s start off by saying that today I ordered lunch from Applebee’s … shrimp and I’m regretting it. In fact the whole past week I been regretting putting any type of food in my mouth, because voila, after a bit… It comes back up.

And no, before you jump in there with the most obvious speculations, I’m not pregnant (there is a silver lining people).

But, I’m something. I don’t know what it is, and I can not point at it and say, “oh, there it is, let’s fix it!” Because, right now, I’m pretty blocked in looking at the “Big picture”… There is no big picture right now, just a tiny, itzy-bitsy black hole, with a long way light at the end.  And I’m not seeing it.

Maybe it’s the impending need to start looking for a new place to live; maybe it’s the looming changes at work (that upper management is not telling you, but that anyone with a small IQ can figure it out) or maybe it’s just that we are very tight with money and I can not let loose and go buy a starbucks frappuccino because its NOT IN THE BUDGET to do so.

All I know is that I have all of this pent up energy that I need to GET OUT NOW or go crazy mad.

Then last night I found a way to do that, because last night I sat and watch the recorded season premire of “LOST” – what you are not watching it?

Go on, move along. You are dead to me.

So, for two hours I sat there and let out grumps and shouts and did lots of finger pointing. Because seriously… This season? It was promise that we WOULD GET ANSWERS! That we WOULD UNDERSTAND! That our 3 year commitment to confusion will be rewarded and everything will be somewhat clear.

They lied.

Because, now we have 2 realities to deal with and still have no clue what the hell is going on.  Leaving us with alot of pend-up emotions.

Sort of like my life right now.

Welcome to MY ISLAND.

All good things end – which SUCK!

Our landlord has informed us that he will be putting our rental house up for sale (the poor, poor man). So that means that in the next 4 months (if not, sooner) the following will be taking place in no particular order:

• Mad dash to find another home to rent (or maybe buy, if all the stars aligned themselves)
• Search for boxes in order to…
• Pack, Pack and Pack everything up again
• Loose our shit while packing up
• Loose our shit with each other during the transition
• Kiss and make up after loosing our shit
• Re-decorate EVERYTHING AGAIN

Just writing this has me already exhausted.

I’m use to changes, and totally embrace them (I can say this, since during my early years, my mother moved us every single year, so I’m totally season to pack-and-go).  Tom, on the other hand, no so much.  He does not do well with the whole process. When we moved to this house it took him months to finally relax due to all the changes happening.  So you can image what this bit of news has done to his daily balance.  He is already edgy and we have not even started yet.

I think I’m going to have to start to practice the fine art of meditation, so we don’t kill each other in this process.

Anyone know of a rental out there?  EMAIL-US!

Light Weight

The past couple of weeks posting has been light around these parts mainly because my life seems to have come to a stand still. Nothing exiting to post, unless you would want to read about our dogs popping and cat’s fur balls episodes – OMG, the fur balls! And I know that you are not going to enjoy that.

Anyway, the other reason as been that I been sort of busy with this other project. Trying to get off the ground, and getting the word out there to the whole wide world.  I been enjoying it so much it has taken a front and center spot in my everyday day. Now I plan menus and recipes and then style the food and take pictures of the food. It has been exiting and it has opened a whole new world to me.  In simpler terms: IM HOOKED!

 And because the grapevine gossip at “the job” is dire and I need to start to think about how to counter act on what is sure to come. (I know I’m being a bit vague about this, but, I don’t want to be “dooced” out of my present job either. So I have to keep in the “down-low”). I need to start thinking of having a plan “B”.

The excitement I feel around food – the preparation, the cooking, and the tasting has me seriously thinking of pursuing a whole new career path.

And I know deep down it’s the time to do this.  And like anything new in my life I have to research it to death, weight on the pros and cons, make list and get the ball running. And the Internet has not disappointed me on helping me accomplish this. It has given me so much information that for the past weeks, I have spent way to much time reading, and writing and planning and making tons and tons of list. (My type A personality would like to thank you)

And that folks does not give me time to go out and make a fool of myself so I can have blogging material to post.

My life has become more boring than before. I got nothing to say. I got plenty to cook, and bake and photograph about. But, regular stuff – NADA.

So, yes, it has been light around these parts, but, I promise that it’s going to change (once I get my act together) and I’m sure that you all be waiting on the edge of your seats.

Cabs, Shopping, Shows, Cocktails, Drunk texting and Tweeting, and someone had a birthday too.

The past week has kicked my butt. Work has been busy, life has been busy and finally I been able to sit, to take a huge amount of air. 

Because for the past 4 days, I felt like I’m drowning. 

Let me tell you I’m so looking forward to this weekend, because for the past 3 weeks it has been non-stop. Which means, that I need to have a major chill out session to recharge and balance my shit out. 

The major event in the past week has been to fly off to NYC (to freeze my butt off) and celebrate the BFF 40th Birthday bash. 

This is her, the one on the right, the pretty one: 

Don't we look pretty? Yes we do - M and M power

 

I think I have posted over and over, how much I love NYC. I would move there in a heartbeat, if I could remove the winter months that is.  Even thought I totally look awesome in winter clothes: 

Very New Yorker of us

I can sum it up as the following 

The flight up amazingly was on time, with no major happenings. The taxi drive to the NYBoys house was the typical NYC Cab ride, I’m glad I had nothing to eat or I will be writing about tossing my food in the cab ride. I mean, is it really necessary to swerve around EVERYTHING while using the brakes? 

Food, man did we eat! Everywhere! And I wrote a recap about that part of the trip here 

Shopping! If you go to NYC and do not shop, call me and tell me how to do that. I bought things that I thought I did not need, until I saw them in NYC.  Somehow the same stores I have in my town look better in NYC. Anyone? Anyone? 

My friends decided it was also time to play beauty shop and colored my hair. I was going for this look: 

And I'm digging the haircut as well

and instead got this look: 

That's one of the NYBoys, looking better than me

And because we are cool, and we like dynamic music and weird imagery, we saw this show.  And we did a lot of dancing and screaming in the process, there were also a lot of finger kissing. 

Cocktails! Lots of those, at the “W” hotel in Union Square. I also may or may not have drunk tweeted and texted Tom, the verdict is still out on that one. If I COULD only REMEMBER what happen.  Specially the part where this picture was taken: 

Do I look tipsy to you?

Because I have no clue who all those people behind us are. 

During a very late brunch on Sunday, we sat a table away from this guy.  And we all looked very cool trying to figure out who his female companion was.  She was not famous, so we soon lost interest and went back to munching on amazing french fries. 

I can honestly say we did what we set out to do over the weekend: eating lots of amazing food, seeing a show, shopping for things we don’t need, spent time with friends that I would do anything for and some major star-gazing while looking very cool about it.

A mini update and Tuesday funny

I have been busy. For the past 11 days I have not been sleeping in my bed. I been dog sitting and I’m ready to get it over with…I miss my bed, Tom, the cats and even the dogs!

I go home tonight – THANK GOD, I was about to lose it. Sleeping in someone’s else’s house is just no fun, especially if its the couch.

On top of it, we are freezing our Floridian asses over here.. For the past 3 days our temperatures have not gone above the 45-50 mark. Dude, my FROSTED light came on the car dashboard… which means “WARNING, if you get out of the CAR NOW, you can FREEZE!”

I know I’m totally wining and shit, because you know, and I know, there are people out there in minus degree weather and with snow to deal with and all that crap. Well, that is fine, but, I don’t feel sorry for them, because they choose to live in a place that has WINTER. I DID NOT! I choose to live in Florida because we did not have to DEAL WITH WINTER in the first place. Someone better look at the fine print. Because, they are going back on their contractual obligations – Do you hear that weather GODS?

Plus, I’m not loving that my lips are cracked and hurt, no matter how much I coat them with chap stick. And you know what else I’m not loving right now? Winter fashion. For the past 3 days, my clothes are totally not matching (purple gloves, with green scarf and brown hat is not very fashion forward), because the most important thing is to keep warm and sometimes in order to do that fashion becomes your bitch.

And all of this is going to go right out that door, because in less than 2 days, I will be boarding a plan and guess where I will be?

Newyorkfuckingcity

Yep, because is not enough that I’m freezing my ass over here in 40 degree weather, I need to take up a notch and do it in 10 degree weather instead.

I’m a dork who loves the BFF to pieces or else I will totally LEAVE YOU TO GO ALL BY YOURSELF (yeah, I’m talking to you!)

In the meantime I leave you with this, and if you know me at all and my love for Ikea, you would totally crack up over it too.

Can we relate?

Bye Bye 2009, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

Today you will probably get tired of ready post after post about 2009 and everyone’s personal  take on it. For some it will be a great year (Babies! Engagements! Marriage!) for some it would have been a challenging year (Layoffs! New Jobs! Health problems!) and for hollywood a terrible year of death (Michael Jackson! Farrah Fawcett! Ted Kennedy! Britney Murphy! and many, many others).

Looking back on it, I have to categorized it as a mix of a great  with some challenges and in some cases total crap.

It started not so well, Tom got laid off work not once but twice! Then found a job, not a GREAT job but a good job that paid the bills.  I on the other hand was saved from a huge laid off wave at work, lost my favorite boss and got not one, but 3 new bosses and a pile of work on top of it.

We enjoyed a great trip to North Carolina not once but twice

We decided to move to a new home (the good!) and while it has created a few financial burdens, on the personal front we are way happier here than his previous home.  Its ours, we found it together, we moved in together, we decorated it together, it was us.

We had a bit of health issues, specifically me. And a couple of trips to the closest ER.

I got into new stuff that made me feel more creative and grateful for  new projects that will keep me out of trouble.

We both found our holiday spirit this year

But at the end of it all, 2009 and has showed me that no matter what, when it gets tough, I can still count on friends:

I know she needs to put that away!

count on family:

Strike a pose!

My soon to be in-law family

and most of all I can count on him:

Yeah, look bored baby

So, yes 2009 has been a good year, a challenged year and in some cases a shit year. And  I’m happy to see it go right out the door, never to return.

We are ready for 2010 to come and give us all it go, because we are ready to kick butt right back.

Happy New Year to all!

Pay it forward: Brandy and her Boy

I stumbled on Brandy’s blog about a year ago surfing the blogphere and I have never left… she is funny, caring and I have read her ups and downs the past couple of months… she is now going thru a difficult patch and has written the reasons below, so I invite you to read it and then forward to everyone you know in order to send her a lot of positive juju she and her boy so need right now…

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

The ER and I are becoming fast and furious friends. And a Very Merry Christmas to you and yours.

I had it all planned out, my goal for the next 2 days was going to be easy.  Lots of TV, lots of junk food, lots  of laying about in my PJ’s, in bed with the remote control being my new found love.  It was going to be vegetation-fest wet dream.  2 days, NOTHING TO DO!  I had it covered.

And then life decided to step in and give me a good kick in the butt and yell: “SURPRISE SUCKER, it ain’t happening!”

The phone rings, I pick up and hear Tom on the other side:

“Babe, I had an accident at work, I’m on my way to the ER, I think I need stitches”

Me: what? what happen? never mind where?

And faster than you can say WTF? I was in the car, driving and wondering WTF!

I got to the hospital, and ran to the front desk, and in between gulps of breath (I need to get myself to the gym) asked where Tom was… and the response was: “He has not arrived yet”

The hell? I beat him to the hospital?

I called his ass up (thank god for cell phones) and the conversation went something like this:

Tom: yeah?

Me: where are you? I’m here and you are not?

Tom: I’m 2 lights away…

Me: Ok, who is driving you? So I know what car to look for?

Tom: I’m driving

Me: WHATTTTTTTTTT???????????????  (you can amplify this by 1000 times)

Tom: yeah, don’t

Me: you are in trouble

Tom: I figure

fade to black….

He arrived and got out of the car, white a ghost too.  And after being assess was parked into an ER room, where 3 nurses, 1 staff assistant, the cleaning lady, an 1 doctor all saw him, and told him he was crazy for driving himself.

The verdit?

He did not cut thru nerves – THANK GOD, or I will be typing this from a hospital room, instead of at home.  He did not break into any of the bone – THANK GOD, or I will be typing… oh shit, well you get it.

We were (or HE WAS) very, very lucky.  The scared only cost him stiches and 14 days of no movement on his hand. It cost me a mini heart attack and the confirmation that when in crisis, my boyfriend will most likely choose to do solid stupid things.

11 stitches later, 1 shot, 1 bottle of vicodin and 1 of antibiotics and we were sent on our way to have a very happy christmas eve.

I could post pictures (Oh yes I took pictures – that’s what the iPhone is for people, to document those stupid moments in time – don’t you judge!) but after seeing them, I decided to let your mental picture conjure up images of a mangle hand with dark, black stitches all over.

I’m totally betting you can come up with something better, than the real thing.

It has been a bumpy ride with moments of total roller-coaster riding

Do you know what this is?  

Trying it on for size

 It’s now my official age for the next 365 days.. YIKES!  

Yesterday I celebrated my 41st birthday.  I’m still raddled a bit that I’m FORTY-ONE YEARS OLD… where in the hell has the time gone? Because, I don’t remember living FORTY-ONE years.  All I remember is that it has been a bumpy ride with moments of total roller-coaster riding.But, it’s there, it all is glory… and I’m planning on trying it on and seeing if my forty-one will treat me better than my forty did.

In order to maximize the day, the NYBoys and BFF took to the sky full of snowstorms, and mini-hurricane wings and dropped in my backyard to eat, drink and be merry (very merry!) for 3 whole days.

I spent the better part of the week preparing for their visit as well as prepping my house and cooking up a storm to feed 12 hungry grown adults on Saturday night.  I decided since it was my birthday I was going to go all out and take out the china, and use the nice silverware and dress up the table with a centerpiece and all the jazz that goes along – I was going to Martha Stewart my guest to death!

After numerous ideas and revisions we decided on simple, and earthy-looking… And with the help of Tom and BFF and various editing and discussions, the creative juices started flowing, and we ended up with this as our dinner table:

Simple, Clean lines and lovely

I was totally in love with it.  And everyone else did too – score one!

And the food! oh boy the food. Cooking up for 3 days straight paid off! My mother was kind enough to make her pork stew, and let me tell you it’s out of this world, and the weather could not have cooperated more, since that night it was nice and cold outside, perfect weather for that hearty menu I had come up with.

This year, I also decided not to have cake, I wanted something to remind me of my younger years and I choose my favorite dessert: Zuppa Inglesa, which is basically a trifle made with chocolate and vanilla cream in between layers of sponge cake soaked in run. And yes, it taste as divine as it sounds.

After much eating and major discussions, the evening ended with everyone agreeing that it be a hoot appropiate to have me sit and open presents. And after much pulling, and ripping I found gift cards! Flower arrangements! Jewelry, and the best surprise of all? A brand new Sony Cyber-Shot Digital Camera.  And that present alone made a believer in me that wish list are the best invention by man since the calculator.

So there you go, another birthday down the hatchet and this one was the best one yet, because nothing beats having your friends and family remind you that you are FORTY-ONE YEARS OLD.